I find myself again in betwixt. A constant form of juxtaposition. But that's life I suppose. A Heraclitian flux in waiting. I dwell on the past while looking towards the future. I think about my only previous love while trying to unburden my heart so I may give someone in the future a chance at a fair relationship unplagued by my past.
Sometimes trapped in my thoughts, I find time passes slowly or not at all. A lifetime in memories of yesterday and of all the possible tomorrows. I imagine many futures. I still stir from waking dreams of those futures. Having spent considerable time imagining a life together with one woman, it is increasingly difficult to imagine something otherwise.
However, dreams are often shattered by reality. Many ancient Greeks believed that life was made up of opposites. That is, that every thing existed with opposing properties. Perhaps opposites are the core of empiricism. We only know something in relation to other things. Yet the law of noncontradiction states something either is or is not. This is simple enough. It is dangerous to get lost in the semantics of silly thoughts like this and yet this is my mind in many moments. Why not put down my books and upgrade to a sweet universal remote control? Then I can watch tv and not need to think so much. Sometimes that is nice, but it's not always my cup of tea.
So now that I've realized and acknowledged my digression, I can return to my original thought which prompted me to grab my netbook and begin typing...
I am in Italy. A stranger in a strange land... you grok?
Last night the father of my host family told me that I am too formal. I think to much about things instead of just letting them happen. Apparently, it's not the normal Italian way of life. I suppose people find it strange that I'm constantly observing wide-eyed, asking questions, and taking in as much as I can around me. For Italians, the surroundings are nothing special.
...........
Much like when I was in Ireland and freaked at the first proper castle I saw. The Irish on the coach with me had no idea what could be so fantastic that had my pointing out the window. "Something in the sky?" they asked. 'No! There!" I said. "What?" they asked as they continued to search the horizon for something amazing. 'The Castle!' I shouted. "Oh. That?... So what, those are everywhere." they said.
...........
I suppose it's easy to become desensitized to your surroundings over time. Most Italians act too cool for school. The problem is that I love school and am constantly happy to learn more.
I'm learning here. Not the things I expected, but I am learning nonetheless.
